I’ve got a theory...

I’ve had this sitting in a folder for a year at least. Possibly more. Because I’ve got a theory, and I honestly can’t remember when I first thought it up. See ‘Crush’ seems to be all about Spike... but there is one person who keeps being mentioned all the way through the episode - Angel. Because we all know that there is a precedent for the Slayer loving a vampire, and Spike plays upon this as much as he can.

The first scene takes place in the Bronze. The group ‘Summercamp’ is on stage performing their song "Play It By Ear.":

I'm amused by the overwhelming choices
I guess the hardest part is knowing when to stop
I'm confused and I think I'm hearing voices
Things are happening so fast
Do I save the best for last?

And isn’t that just the perfect song? The care with which the music was chosen always makes me very happy. Anyway, we then have the ‘conversation’ between Buffy and Spike. And my goodness but look at Spike! He’s NOT wearing *the coat* - he actually looks just like your average bloke: blue shirt, brown trousers and a black leather jacket (which reminds me very much of Angel’s... hmm, interesting). Spike attempts to talk to Buffy and she’s rather puzzled by this. And well - he’s got a point. She’s happy to call on him for back-up in a fight, but in a social situation he’s unacceptable. Which does sort of set a pattern for things to come... poor Spike. He tries so hard, but on-one ever cuts him any slack. (Also he happens to be evil, but come on - he’s better than Ben!)

Which brings us to the Quasimodo analogy... I know it’s heavy handed, but I love it just for this line:

Also, you can tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy.

One thing that I’d never really thought about before was the fact that it’s Willow who can’t see anything wrong in the relationship. Willow, whose own moral compass does not work all that well...  

But back to the main points. I’ve always loved ‘Crush’ - the only problem I had with it was *why* did Spike think that killing Dru would somehow prove his love? Of course it’s a big overblown gesture, and Dru’s arrival could not have been more fortuitous... but like Buffy I could not really see the point. Until one day when a little light bulb lit itself above my head. *Of course* Spike would kill Dru for Buffy! Because - Angel killed Darla! Spike spends the whole episode trying to be Angel - the vampire that Buffy loved.  He goes the ‘boyfriend’ route - talking to her in the Bronze and trying to join in her Slaying duties with the fake stake-out. Doesn’t work. So when Dru turns up, he tries to go the vampire route. He must have heard of Darla’s death - he took over the Master’s old minions and spent months with Angelus, and in this episode Dru tells of Darla’s return - stands to reason he’s heard how she was dusted in the first place.

If we look, there are quite a few parallels between the episode ‘Angel’ and ‘Crush’, only the parallels often highlight how different Spike and Angel are:

- At the start of ‘Angel’ Buffy laments the fact that Angel is so uncommunicative - at the start of ‘Crush’ she laments that Spike is TOO communicative!

- Then we have potential boyfriend and Buffy’s mom, and here Spike is of course way ahead of Angel. He’s obviously charmed Joyce well and truly.

- Later Buffy discovers something about her suitor - in Angel’s case she finds out that he’s a vampire, in Spike’s case that he has feelings for her.

And now we get to the interesting stuff. Both vampires get a visit from their past:

‘Angel’:
Angel: Who's here?
Darla: A friend.

'Crush’:
Spike: Who's there?
Drusilla: A happy memory, pretty Spike.

Both women then try to seduce their former lovers back to their old life - reminding them of what they really are:

‘Angel’:
Darla: But guess what, precious? You're not one of them. [...]  You and I both know what you hunger for. What you need. Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's who we are. It's what makes eternal life worth living. Mm. You can only suppress your real nature for so long. You can feel it brewing inside of you. I hope I'm around when it explodes.

‘Crush’:
Drusilla: I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine are singing out now? You're a killer. Born to slash and bash and bleed like beautiful poetry. [...]
Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog. But you are.

Of course Angel doesn’t go with Darla, whereas Spike appears to follow Dru willingly.

But... Darla has a plan. She bites Joyce, making it look like it was Angel and sets up a confrontation between Buffy and Angel, counting on Angel’s self-preservation and experience winning out and the end result being Buffy’s death. And she nearly succeeds...

Darla: For a hundred years you've not had a moment's peace because you will not accept who you are. That's all you have to do. Accept it. Don't let her hunt you down. Don't whimper and mewl like a mangy human. Kill! Feed! Live!

She has pushed Angel to the limit. He jumps up and shoves her against the wall with her arms pinned up.

Angel:  Alright!
Darla:  What do you want?
Angel:  I want it finished!
Darla:  That's good. You're hurting me. (smiles) That's good, too.

In ‘Crush’ Spike has a plan... he goes along with Dru - and that hardly counts as an onerous task. Dru obviously wants to kill Buffy and Spike plays along, waiting for his moment to betray her. Because Spike’s plan counts on Buffy’s self-preservation making her willing to give him some hope that one day she’ll want him:

Spike: If you don't admit that there's something there... Some tiny feeling for me... Then I'll untie Dru and let her kill you , instead. [...] Just... Give me something... a crumb, the barest smidge... tell me maybe, someday, there's a chance...

But both plans fail - when Buffy offers Angel her neck, he can’t bite her. And not even when under pain of death will Buffy admit to feelings she doesn’t have.


Now one of the most interesting things is the bonds between Angel/Darla and Spike/Dru. In both episodes there is a wistful look back at what once was, and disgust at the new feelings that have come between them:

‘Angel’:
Darla:  Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
Buffy:  Bad hair on top of that outfit?
Darla:  To love someone who used to love you. [...] I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick.

But in ‘Crush’ it’s Spike who’s nostalgic, Spike who’s enticed by his Sire, even as he’s preparing to stake her:

‘Crush’:
Spike: This is Drusilla, girl. Do you have the slightest idea how much she means to me? This is the face of my salvation. She delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century - we cut a swath through the continents, shared a bed, drank from the same vein... A hundred years, and she never stopped surprising me... Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke, to touch such a black beauty. Lucky just to stand in her light... [...]
(to Buffy:) Because this-- this thing with you -- it's wrong! I know it! Not a complete idiot! You think I like having you here?! Destroying everything that was me until all that's left is you in a dead shell. You say you hate it but you won't leave.
[...]
Drusilla: Poor Spike... So lost. Even I can't help you now.

Spike knows that he’s ‘sick’, knows that he’s ‘lost’ and - ultimately - knows that he can’t hurt Buffy. She never gives him a crumb, but when Dru escapes he helps free her.

Angel cannot hurt Buffy either, although he admits that he wanted to kill her:

“I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight.”

And Buffy walks right up to him, defenceless, and yet he cannot kill her. When Darla attacks he kills his Sire.


But there is more to ‘Crush’ than just this. I’ll point out a few other parallels, because this is an episode that has consequences down the line.

- First of all there’s ‘Life Serial’ - and finally Spike gets his date with Buffy. She seeks him out willingly, happy to be in his company and be his ‘talking buddy’. And although she obviously still doesn’t *like* what Spike has in his little flask, she’s happy to share. When Spike holds the door for her she walks through without a second thought - she doesn’t even complain about being referred to as ‘his lady’. The contrasts are so major that it proves without a doubt how different the situations are.

- Then there’s a line from ‘Crush’ that is almost mirrored exactly in ‘Beneath You’. And the difference is telling:

'Crush':
Spike: I've changed, Buffy.
Buffy: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!

'Beneath You':
Spike: All I can say is: Buffy, I've changed.
Buffy: I believe you.
Spike: Well, that's something.
Buffy: I just don't know what you've changed into.

- The Bronze scene with Spike and Dru is evoked in ‘Sleeper’ when the girl Spike vamped is trying to chat him up. Only this time the two of them are on the balcony, looking down at the potential meals. In ‘Crush’ of course Spike gave into his demon, if hesitantly, here he is outright appalled.

- Finally, a lovely reversal of roles, and yet again showing how much Buffy defended Spike in S7.

'Crush':
Buffy: Angel was good!
Spike: And I can be too.

'First Date':
Buffy: He can be a good man, Giles. I feel it. But he's never gonna get there if we don't give him the chance.


It all just goes to prove that Spike was right in ‘Crush’:

We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it.

It took time, and a lot of pain, but their ‘Something’ proved bigger and stronger than anything either of them could have imagined. I love my show so very much...


~~~

I have no idea when I'll be able to reply to comments, but I will get there eventually! :)